Hi everyone,
This week’s update will be scruffier than usual, because a few days ago, I had to say goodbye to my beloved dog River.
This isn’t something I’d normally share on The Abbey. But this is a special circumstance — River was an important contributor to The Abbey and I probably should have credited her long ago. So I’m going to attempt to do so here, and I hope you’ll forgive me if my words are clunky.
I am, of course, grieving, but I also know that River’s passing is not a tragedy — she was 13 years old and she and I spent 12 of those years together, and she lived a life full of joy and adventure and love. She had what they’d call in Liverpool “good innings,” and then she was ready to go — even if I wasn’t ready to let her go.
River was a complex sensitive, joyful dog — part husky, part pittie, part coyote. Like me, she needed freedom and open spaces, and she inspired me to create a life for both of us in which she (and I) could have those things in abundance. Our journeys together took us from Southern California’s iconic Topanga Canyon to the stormy Oregon coast to the high desert of New Mexico, and finally, to the woods of Maine. It’s tricky to pin down an exact chain of cause and effect, but a credible case could be made that my willingness to take the risk of writing Beautiful Possibility happened because she taught me to see horizons rather than obstacles, to value curiousity more than security, and to choose love over fear.
I wrote much of Part One of Beautiful Possibility talking into my phone recorder while hiking with River on some forest trail. I edited all of Part One with her sleeping next to me. If you listen closely, you can hear her paws clicking across the wood floor in the background of more than one episode. I could have edited her footsteps out, but why?
So this week, with the clunky words that I’m able to find, I simply want to acknowledge River’s contribution to the work of The Abbey. She was more than my inspiration, she was… well, as so often happens, the English language doesn’t have good words. But some of you maybe know what I’m not finding the words for, because maybe you’ve loved a dog this way, too.
I also hope you won’t mind too much if I take next week off from updates, and maybe the week after as well. River’s passing was not a tragedy, but I nonetheless need some time to grieve and to begin to find my footing now that my best girl is on the other side of the veil. But whether it’s one week or two, be assured I will be back very soon.
In another lifetime, I was a professional photographer, so I have many, many “professional” photos of River from our 12 years together. But tonight, the one I love the most isn’t especially “professional.” It’s just River and her best friend looking out over her land, that she loved so much.
Thank you for indulging me this week. Until the week after next or the week after that.
Peace, love, and strawberry fields,
Faith 🍓
